I Like To Look, Sorry

I am a man.

Pause.

Read it again.

I am a man.

Men, are visual creatures by nature. Ladies, the reason a man ever spoke to you in the first place is because he liked how you LOOK. There is no way around this, and there is no point getting mad at the TRUTH. It is, what it is.

From that starting point is where all the other stuff comes in. "Do I think she's cute? Check. OK, let's see what she's about". Don't pretend you don't do the same thing. It's disingenuous and disgusting. Plus, it'll start a fight. (Or it would if I had 50 steady readers like I did back the Myspace days)

Anyway, I had a point when I started typing, and that point is the need to understand the nature of the beast.

Once upon a time, I was dating a fantastic woman (Am I still? mind your business, Ask Dr Hak will return at a date in the future) and I had something I wanted to tell her: "I love you, and I really don't mean to disrespect you, but if an attractive woman walks by, I'm going to look at her."

Why did I do this? Because I'm Dr Hak and its Real Talk 100% of the time with me. Also, because I felt like this conversation would lead to open dialogue and a better understanding of the intricate needs and ... OK let me stop

I told her because I didn't want to feel guilty everytime she dragged me shopping and I checked out the bad ass chick who walked in after us. I didn't want to feel like I was doing something wrong everytime my eyes lit up when Stacey Dash showed up on the TV. And most importantly, I wanted to see what she would say.

She said. "Whatever". And that was that. Disclaimer - we had been friends for a long time before we started dating, so this wasn't a full out surprise to her. She also is very pretty and relatively secure, bordering on naive (her words, not mine).

A few times when we out, she would call me out for it. One particular time while eating sushi, the hostess was fine as shit and I (just spent 10 minutes looking for the appropriate word. Its not really "regret" - help) wished I could've checked her out, while at the same time not being TOO upset. Well she ended up walking by our table at least 4 times. The first two, I was very very excited about this development, and felt it was justification for living a good, clean life.

My lovely dinner date said "I saw you looking at her butt" and I said "yep". And that was the end of it. I wasn't STARING, I was just looking. If you saw those hips, you'd look too. And then we left and I forgot all about that woman until just now when I was typing up the story. I like to look, get over it.

It doesn't mean I'm planning on leaving you and it doesn't mean I don't think you're beautiful. Hell you probably look better than her if I'm with you. I'm just admiring a work of art.

And I'm honest about it... Ha!