You are a wanter.
You want this you want that. More money. Better career. Freedom. Stability. A good spouse. Kids. The big house with the white picket fence. White sand beaches with Mai Tai's by the pool without a care in the world. Two extra inches of height. 3 fewer inches of waistline. A Super Bowl trip for your favorite team. A convertible. An iPad. A 60 inch HDTV.
You want a bunch of stuff. But what do you do when you have it staring at you, smack dab in the face, ready to be wanted?
Whatchagonnado?
Relationship wise, we typically "WANT" someone - - - really "something" since the prototypical perfect mate doesn't exist - - - who might be a bit out of our league in the classical sense. In the real world, there's no such thing, even if people will look at you both and say "who is this regular ass mofo with Stacey Dash/Serena Williams/Idris Elba/whoever the sexyflexy dude of the month is - holding hands walking down the street?"
We even allow ourselves to believe that someone is out of our league, even if we still want them. Well, what happens when that person decides they want to holla back? What are you going to do?
What some of you will do, is RUN. In a really weird, sabotage-the-relationship kind of way. Never really believing the other person wants YOU, all sorts of passive aggressive insecurity will stream out of your pores. You'll spaz out every time they call. You'll try to CHANGE who you are because of who they are.
These behaviors are pretty sad, but in some way, they are understandable. Who wants to be "upgraded on", and then take a stream of sympathy calls that include "I told you so" or "well it was a longshot anyway". Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody wants to wait for the other shoe to drop... so when you are in a situation with someone you don't REALLY think you can get, the natural urge may be to protect yourself.
We can't live life like that. If you're a receptionist and a Doctor at the hospital you work with says he's genuinely interested in you (for more than sex), and he shows it through actions and not words, enjoy the ride. Without looking over your shoulder to see who is plotting on you.
If you meet someone and they have their stuff together, sure, its cool if you are reminded that you have some goals to accomplish and loose ends to tie up, but it shouldn't be because you want this random person to look at you with regard. 1, it won't work. Your impression is already set. If your rocket scientist girlfriend comes to the ceremony when you finished your MBA, she'll be proud of you for sure, but she won't start treating you like it means something. Her impression of you was set when you met her. And she's still there.
You gotta have some self-esteem. I know the chances of me actually pulling Stacey Dash SEEM low, but I've never been in the room with her. Give me 5 minutes somewhere where we can talk. It's a wrap, baby. Tell Rick Ross she's coming to be in my music video.
How can I be so sure? Well I'm not. But I damn sure am not going to rule myself out just because she's a celebrity and what not.
A lot of times, we get caught up on what someone does or where they go or who they run with and make judgments about them.
For example - if you are a woman, doing your thing but you ain't a baller, and you meet a doctor and have good conversation... don't start acting like he's not looking at your ti... err, body and less than the next man. That's actually a pretty dumb assumption. "Oh we had great conversation, he's not like these other dudes he never once said blah blah blah" - - - PLEASE.
A good man... is still a man. Say it with me. A GOOD MAN IS STILL A MAN
Men like to look at women. He probably checked you out before he walked over and/or, knows he'll have a chance later. This is strategy. You ever walk down the street, and the guy you're about to pass turns around and looks the other way before your get there but otherwise doesn't move or stops walking? Strategy. These ladies do it to. I've actually been impressed with the smoothness lady veterans of the game employ to check out a man's stature or physique. The laugh-to-hand-on-the-arm move for example (does he work out?). That's pretty old school. There are much more sophisticated techniques I will leave for a master practitioner of such to discuss with you at another time.
And fellas, it goes both ways (pause). A GOOD WOMAN IS STILL A WOMAN. All because she's not going to break down and roll around in the street pitching a fit when you don't open the door for her, or don't tell her she looks nice when its clear she went through some effort to look nice with/for you - that doesn't mean she's ok with it. Some people are just levelheaded. But even your Brain Surgeon girlfriend needs you to provide manly comfort and support... she just doesn't need your money. (Need... I didn't say she doesn't want it). And all because she isn't the type for drama, that doesn't mean you can do whatever.
Some people have had experiences that give them a different outlook on life. They are usually called celebrities or CEOs. But we're all people, and you shouldn't treat them differently because they happen to match the exact profile you SAY you want. Treat everyone the same... now if you don't know how to treat people or talk to people (evidence - none of your ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends are cool with you)... that's something we'll talk about a different day.
Are you ready?
Are you ready for success? Are you ready for the promotion you think you deserve? Are you ready to meet the person you say you want to be with? Do you have your spiritual, financial, and personal plan in motion for your life? Do you at least have an outline of the plan? Are you making strides towards being where you want to be in the important areas of your life?
If No... well... why the hell not?
Spend some time thinking about what it would take for you to be ready for success in all areas of your life, and then think about what you will do when you GET IT. Then make a Point A to Point B plan to bridge the gap. Because if you act right - get it you shall.
Just do like the Boy Scouts and Be Prepared. It could happen Any Day Now.
