My last post on Real Talk is, by far, the most critically acclaimed yet.
And by critically acclaimed, I mean two things. 1) people gave real props for the truth and 2) haters really tried to come at me.
It's like politics. When Obama is preparing to do something of consequence, the haters start fistfights at town hall meetings (over health care? really? what's there to fight about with that?).
I'd like to thank everyone who provided comments (in real life or online) and criticisms...and even hate hate hate.
I just wrote this entry here not to boast, but to give thanks to the people and as a space to get a few things straight
1) If you don't like what I have to say, the most likely reason is that it is because I struck a chord and you actually realize what I say applies DIRECTLY to you and you don't like it. Let's be real here, if I don't call you out by name or description, but my words piss you off (this happens) you must have heard something you don't want to hear. All because you don't like it doesn't mean its wrong. It's sad if you decide to discard good information - no matter the source - because you don't LIKE it.
Alternative versions of this point would be: I wrote something you have been told to your face before - it made you mad then and it made you mad now; I wrote something you don't understand - if that's the case, ask for clarification
2) Don't be passive aggressive with your comments. Yes, if you think I'm talking about you I 100% am. The next person to do this is getting called out by name.
3) I love women. The reason I write about, and to, women more than men is because women have so much more power in every romantic situation than they realize, and as the gender that's ALLEGEDLY more intelligent, it confuses me to see said intelligence superiority sacrificed in the name of trying to get a dude (who usually isn't shit anyway). I could write to dudes, but I already know how that would go. Men listen to older men they trust and their own experiences. That's about it.
4) If you think I'm wrong about something, don't be a lil ole bitch about it, speak up. Real Talk. I can be corrected with evidence... Please note I said EVIDENCE, not your opinion or emotions.
5) "Who the fuck is Dr Hak and what the hell does he know?" only shows that you aren't one of the people in the world who seeks the TRUTH. You seek information that agrees with your point of view instead of information that would force you to improve or change. Its 2010, let's get on this personal growth. No Fox News, pause.
6) Every single thing I write does not apply to EVERY single person out there. Come on, be serious. There are tons of great men and great women out there. Hell I'm with one right now. I don't generalize, I summarize. I'm talking to specific types of people at specific times.
When you read Real Talk, you need to do some introspection and see if what I'm saying applies to you in that particular case. Some women need (a lot) more help than others, some have the formula figured out. Usually, these are the women in long-term happy relationships. Strangely enough, these are the women who usually give me the most props. HMMMMMM.... If you are one of those single women who don't think they should be single, but also say dumb shit like "these men are intimidated by me" or have dumb rules like height and income requirements... your homegirls in happy relationships have told you a lot of the stuff I'm saying here and you don't listen to either of us... And you STILL complain. At some point, you decided the world was here to serve you and that some man out there was going to come through and do all these fabulous things for you without you having to EARN said treatment. You also probably decided you were an "8" or "9" when in fact, you may be a "6" on a good day. Or, you're a "9" in looks and a "3" in personality. Oh, it's true.
[That reminds me of a reallllly funny incident at a sushi bar one time, when I was consulting one of my fantastic homegirls who was having some men issues trying to see where her head was at. She's an "8" to be sure, but I had a feeling her esteem was a little low based on some evidence I had. So I asked her what she thought she was. I knew she'd say "6" and she did. Before I could continue, her fat, unattractive homegirl with gap teeth shouts out "UH UH, UH UH, THATS FUCKED UP YALL OVER HERE RATIN BITCHES"... She got told off. Hilarity ensued. Next time I saw her, she tried to be nice to me. "Please."]
7) Don't overdo it - I might need to make this a full entry, but when you read advice, here or elsewhere, you must be careful not to take it too far. Me saying "requiring a man to make $100,000" is stupid does not mean I think you should date a man who doesn't have his stuff together.
For the record - dismissing a guy by saying he's "short" is equivalent to a man dismissing a chick because "she ain't got no ass anyway". Nobody's perfect, not I and especially not you - so why demand perfection from others?
8) I can't save everyone - women who say they want one thing, but turn around and date a guy they aren't actually feeling for over a year because he liberally spends money on her... that's where the term "gold digger" comes from. I know a chick or two like that. I can't even write any more on that without it becoming a personal attack because its really sad and really whack. Men shouldn't use women, Women shouldn't use men. But you see it over and over. There are some differences, but its still userdom.
Men use women for sex. As in, if you were dating a girl, decided you don't want anything serious but she's still interested and willing to "perform"... the guy is likely to keep her around. Rarely will he tell her to step off as long as she's hooking him up with sex. That doesn't mean he'll change his mind and give her the relationship she seeks though. Thus, using. Even if he "told her straight up" he wasn't interested in a relationship. It's still using.
Women use men for material things more than sex (but sometimes sex too). A woman who isn't interested in a guy, might let him hang around if he does stuff for her - takes her out to eat, takes her on trips, buys her clothes. She'll say "oh I tried to tell him how I feel" but she didn't leave him alone - so she's a user. Happens all the time. All the while, this guy - one of the ones who actually is interested in a long term relationship, thus proving they exist - thinks he's making progress. But on the low, or even in his face, she's going around talking to ex's, giving out her number to new guys she finds more attractive, and then letting them get a chance to holla. That's not cool. Happens all the time though.
If you really want to be in a happy relationship, you have to end situations that aren't going to lead to one, even if you feel as if you're getting benefits (clothes, dinner, trips, "treatment", sex). You can't turn around and then say shit like "ain't no good men" out there or "all these men are intimidated" when you have a decent man trying to get in with you and you not feeling him but letting him put energy into you. That's how people get shot. Real Talk.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I Guess I'm Going to Have to Keep Repeating This
Ladies, ladies, ladies
I'm going to keep saying this until it sinks in.
Your attitudes are really really fucked up - REAL TALK.
A man is not going to be attracted to you because you have a bunch of degrees and a good job and a house - so stop associating the attainment of those things with "well now I should have a good man".
Men are very simple when it comes to women.
We want someone we get along with, who we find physically attractive. That's all.
If you have something to say about where we take you to dinner - problem. If you wanted something specific you should've said so.
If you feel like we should be spending exhorbent amounts of money on you because that somehow reflects some deeper level of whatever - WRONG. Men spend money on women because/if they CAN. A broke dude who spends his last dollar to do something for you probably is really into you, but no less or more than a broke dude who keeps that last dollar for his bills. One is a trick, one isn't.
Men who have a lot of cash to blow do stuff because it gets them the draws. Not because they think you are the one. Read that a few times so it sinks in.
If a man wants to be with you, his actions will show it, but it has nothing to do with how much cash he spends on you or anything like that...
I mean really, aren't you tired of being single? Don't you want to know what's REALLY on the minds of the brothers and what we are looking for? Well dammit, stop talking and start listening.
And I'm not talking about the listening where you wait to hear something you want to hear. I'm talking about shutting up and listening.
If a man isn't calling you consistently he's not that into you.
If a man doesn't tell you he loves you he does not.
If a man says he wants to be with you but his actions are flaky - he's got other options and he's telling you what you want to hear.
Oh yeah, that's another thing. I'm tired of all these chicks talking bout men are confusing. NO WE'RE REALLY NOT.
It comes down to this. If a man isn't doing what you think he should be, there are two options. 1. He's not doing it because he doesn't care enough. 2. Your expectations are all fucked up. And I mean ALLLLLLL fucked up.
The next woman I hear say something along the lines of "i got all my degrees and a job and these brothers are intimidated by me" is getting shot. (Not literally)
You might not be that cute.
Pause.
You want to date tall pretty boys but they keep playing you... well guess what - they're out of your league. Sorry.
Date a regular looking dude who shows some interest in you. Oh you're not attracted to him "like that". Well he's probably leave you for Stacey Dash or his tight ass ex girlfriend if given the chance too, so now you have something in common. Congratulations.
But what I really think I want to say today, is that your attitudes (and yeah this is going racial. Black women to black men) are absolutely - fucking - ridiculous.
You think all black men are out to play the field and you'll go on national tv and say as much, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself just said twenty dumb things that clearly show why you are single. You only date men who make more money than you (dumb) you only date guys of a certain height (dumb) you feel like a man should sweep you off your feet... my ninja what sweeping are you doing?
Do you have the Princess syndrome? Do you think a relationship is all about you? You think he's supposed to approach you, court you, spit game to you, take you out, and do all this stuff to get your attention, then he finally gets you and its more of the same? Pay for this pay for that. Get my hair done take me out buy me dinner. WHAT are you doing for him during all of this? Who is you? Are you a statue? Is he just supposed to do all this because you're cute?
Oh that's right, you don't want to be judged for your looks..
This is never going to stop...
But maybe for you individually, you can save yourself.
Look at yourself, look at how you treat men. What you expect from them... are you a bitch? Real talk - are you a bitch?
Question number two - do you do too much for ain't shit dudes? Are you so pressed to not be alone that you go way over the top for men who don't deserve it?
If the answer is yes to both of those, God Help you. If its just one, you can be SAVED.
Men like women who have their own minds. The money, job, education etc... those things are cool, and I don't even think all men articulate this correctly - a guy will tell you he wants a woman who has those things, but its really more of an indicator of good stock for his children. There are other ways to indicate that you have good genes other than being a PhD with a great job. Because if you're a jerk, or have a sense of entitlement or superiority - he's moving on.
And let me address one more thing during this ramble - that particular guy, you know the Dream McNugget or whatever his name was on that show - that guy - the tall one, with the education, the money, the six-pack, the nice car, the pearly white teeth and fly wardrobe - he doesn't fucking want you. This is the real world.
80/20 rule applies. You should probably aim for someone who has 80% of your WANTS and all of your NEEDS. But you really need to make sure those two lists are appropriate. Height is not a NEED its a WANT. Ambition and all that, you can put that in NEED. Totally different thing. Who wants to date a couch-ridden XBox 24-7 dude except...another dude like that? I get that. But you really need to get your expectations in line. Because you ain't that damn tight yourself otherwise...you'd...already...be...
Happy
Peace
I'm going to keep saying this until it sinks in.
Your attitudes are really really fucked up - REAL TALK.
A man is not going to be attracted to you because you have a bunch of degrees and a good job and a house - so stop associating the attainment of those things with "well now I should have a good man".
Men are very simple when it comes to women.
We want someone we get along with, who we find physically attractive. That's all.
If you have something to say about where we take you to dinner - problem. If you wanted something specific you should've said so.
If you feel like we should be spending exhorbent amounts of money on you because that somehow reflects some deeper level of whatever - WRONG. Men spend money on women because/if they CAN. A broke dude who spends his last dollar to do something for you probably is really into you, but no less or more than a broke dude who keeps that last dollar for his bills. One is a trick, one isn't.
Men who have a lot of cash to blow do stuff because it gets them the draws. Not because they think you are the one. Read that a few times so it sinks in.
If a man wants to be with you, his actions will show it, but it has nothing to do with how much cash he spends on you or anything like that...
I mean really, aren't you tired of being single? Don't you want to know what's REALLY on the minds of the brothers and what we are looking for? Well dammit, stop talking and start listening.
And I'm not talking about the listening where you wait to hear something you want to hear. I'm talking about shutting up and listening.
If a man isn't calling you consistently he's not that into you.
If a man doesn't tell you he loves you he does not.
If a man says he wants to be with you but his actions are flaky - he's got other options and he's telling you what you want to hear.
Oh yeah, that's another thing. I'm tired of all these chicks talking bout men are confusing. NO WE'RE REALLY NOT.
It comes down to this. If a man isn't doing what you think he should be, there are two options. 1. He's not doing it because he doesn't care enough. 2. Your expectations are all fucked up. And I mean ALLLLLLL fucked up.
The next woman I hear say something along the lines of "i got all my degrees and a job and these brothers are intimidated by me" is getting shot. (Not literally)
You might not be that cute.
Pause.
You want to date tall pretty boys but they keep playing you... well guess what - they're out of your league. Sorry.
Date a regular looking dude who shows some interest in you. Oh you're not attracted to him "like that". Well he's probably leave you for Stacey Dash or his tight ass ex girlfriend if given the chance too, so now you have something in common. Congratulations.
But what I really think I want to say today, is that your attitudes (and yeah this is going racial. Black women to black men) are absolutely - fucking - ridiculous.
You think all black men are out to play the field and you'll go on national tv and say as much, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself just said twenty dumb things that clearly show why you are single. You only date men who make more money than you (dumb) you only date guys of a certain height (dumb) you feel like a man should sweep you off your feet... my ninja what sweeping are you doing?
Do you have the Princess syndrome? Do you think a relationship is all about you? You think he's supposed to approach you, court you, spit game to you, take you out, and do all this stuff to get your attention, then he finally gets you and its more of the same? Pay for this pay for that. Get my hair done take me out buy me dinner. WHAT are you doing for him during all of this? Who is you? Are you a statue? Is he just supposed to do all this because you're cute?
Oh that's right, you don't want to be judged for your looks..
This is never going to stop...
But maybe for you individually, you can save yourself.
Look at yourself, look at how you treat men. What you expect from them... are you a bitch? Real talk - are you a bitch?
Question number two - do you do too much for ain't shit dudes? Are you so pressed to not be alone that you go way over the top for men who don't deserve it?
If the answer is yes to both of those, God Help you. If its just one, you can be SAVED.
Men like women who have their own minds. The money, job, education etc... those things are cool, and I don't even think all men articulate this correctly - a guy will tell you he wants a woman who has those things, but its really more of an indicator of good stock for his children. There are other ways to indicate that you have good genes other than being a PhD with a great job. Because if you're a jerk, or have a sense of entitlement or superiority - he's moving on.
And let me address one more thing during this ramble - that particular guy, you know the Dream McNugget or whatever his name was on that show - that guy - the tall one, with the education, the money, the six-pack, the nice car, the pearly white teeth and fly wardrobe - he doesn't fucking want you. This is the real world.
80/20 rule applies. You should probably aim for someone who has 80% of your WANTS and all of your NEEDS. But you really need to make sure those two lists are appropriate. Height is not a NEED its a WANT. Ambition and all that, you can put that in NEED. Totally different thing. Who wants to date a couch-ridden XBox 24-7 dude except...another dude like that? I get that. But you really need to get your expectations in line. Because you ain't that damn tight yourself otherwise...you'd...already...be...
Happy
Peace
Dickridin Obama
**This is a delayed vent, so I make no apologies for the foul language within**
I'm so glad The Boondocks is bringing this subject up...
(Click this link)
A couple of months ago, a pretty big deal was made out of a healthcare bill that passed both houses of Congress. All sorts of words were used to describe it - "historic" being the main one.
I disagreed.
I felt/feel that Barack Obama and his squad had settled for a single when a home run was achievable. Both houses of Congress and the White House are strongly controlled by Democrats and he had made it his top priority. So how did the public option disappear from the debate so soon? Why are at least 5% of Americans STILL going to be without healthcare when everything kicks in in 2014 (provided the Republicans who win office between now and then don't kill it off entirely)?
OR - how about I just use the words of Russell Simmons, since he's rich and you nigras seem to respect that type of stuff "They compromised on the public option way too soon".
Thank you rich Mr. Russell Simmons.
I extended my comments to say that I thought for Obama to make this his top priority for the number of months he's been focused on it and NOT get what he really wanted was absolutely ridiculous. AND I said that I don't think he's done enough since he's taken office. Because he fucking hasn't. He promised to address the treatment of our Veterans, Don't-ask-Don't-tell, Immigration, and education. Education has seen some attention. Some. The rest of that? Not so much. He has sent more troops to Afghanistan. I guess that's fine. Oh, and he's extended some Bush era liberty-restrictions in the name of counter terrorism. And he had a beer summit to settle a dispute between his boy and a racist Boston cop.
Suddenly, I was the recipient of personal attacks. Everything from Black Rush Limbaugh to a fucking idiot - well, let me say this to everyone who had something to say to me during that debate - "FUCK You".
This is the most ridiculous shit in the world. You niggas have been on Obama's dick for 3 years now and half of you don't even know what his job entails. He is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. He chooses what happens next. Not the Republicans. Not the Tea Party. Not those dumb ass Democrats who should bow down to him and thank him for helping them retain or gain office in Fall 2008 by boosting turnout. HE DOES. Do you know what George W Bush got done when he got into office? Everything he wanted. He wanted to put out a huge tax cut for the rich... HE GOT IT.
All you new-to-following-politics chumps need to stay in your lane when Dr. Hak is talking, because right now y'all on that Fox News shit and you can all eat a dick. Yep, I'm still angry about it.
The problem I have with the whole situation is two-fold.
1) Don't talk to me like I am an Obama-hater because I just so happen to criticize him. That's my right. To support someone but also never criticize or critique their performance(s) is called being a "yes-man" and serves no purpose. That's the Fox News style and that's some bullshit. Remember when everyone who opposed the war in Iraq hated America and hated freedom? Yeeeeeaaaaah y'all on that but in reverse.
All or nothing.
With us or with them.
Etc, etc, etc.
The same thing happened early on in Barack's candidacy. He wasn't talking about shit. Sure enough, here come black people to shout me down about it. The dude admitted it himself. Oprah had to get him some spark. And then he "found his voice" and the rest is history. But even the other Democrats at some of the initial primary debates came up to him like "what the fuck is wrong with you? Get it together." These things happened. But let me say it, and I'm a bitch.... No - you're a bitch. Get off that bullshit.
Problem #2) If Barack Obama wasn't black NONE OF YOU NEGROES WOULD CARE ONE-TENTH as much as you do right now about ANYTHING he does... with the possible exception of his economic policies and the War if you know someone who gets deployed - for those you'd care about half as much.
Everything else - you just soooooo happy to have a black man in office that you wet yourself thinking about it.
And when I point this out - what happens? More of that "fuck Dr Hak" shit. Because I tell you the truth and you don't like it. Guess what. I'm gonna talk my shit. You are going to have to live with it. If you don't like it - stay the fuck away from my blog, my airspace and everything else. Real Talk - I'm not here to entertain your dumbasses, I'm here to speak the truth.African-Americans Black people treat Barack Obama like he can do no wrong and you do him NO favors when you do that.
I think he deserves a B or a B- for his first year and change in office. But not an A++++++++++++++ like all of you people who look foolish typing "I'm so proud of my president" in your facebook statuses everytime he's a press conference, and you have no idea what he just said. *spit* That disgusts me.
Keep this up, and I swear to guard I'm going to start putting up "F* Barack Obama" videos on YouTube to prove a point. Some of you might enjoy that...sick freaks. The rest of you should be very very afraid.
IF you want to talk politics, educate yourself and find out what's really going on. Supporting someone JUST because they are Black is the type of shit that holds us back as a people. That shit is crazy...
and you know what?
Barack is tight enough to get your support without that. But most of you will never understand that because I'm Dr Hak and I'm some some 3002 shit. It'll be 992 years before you understand anything I say. Whatthefuckever.
Peace Out.
I'm so glad The Boondocks is bringing this subject up...
(Click this link)
A couple of months ago, a pretty big deal was made out of a healthcare bill that passed both houses of Congress. All sorts of words were used to describe it - "historic" being the main one.
I disagreed.
I felt/feel that Barack Obama and his squad had settled for a single when a home run was achievable. Both houses of Congress and the White House are strongly controlled by Democrats and he had made it his top priority. So how did the public option disappear from the debate so soon? Why are at least 5% of Americans STILL going to be without healthcare when everything kicks in in 2014 (provided the Republicans who win office between now and then don't kill it off entirely)?
OR - how about I just use the words of Russell Simmons, since he's rich and you nigras seem to respect that type of stuff "They compromised on the public option way too soon".
Thank you rich Mr. Russell Simmons.
I extended my comments to say that I thought for Obama to make this his top priority for the number of months he's been focused on it and NOT get what he really wanted was absolutely ridiculous. AND I said that I don't think he's done enough since he's taken office. Because he fucking hasn't. He promised to address the treatment of our Veterans, Don't-ask-Don't-tell, Immigration, and education. Education has seen some attention. Some. The rest of that? Not so much. He has sent more troops to Afghanistan. I guess that's fine. Oh, and he's extended some Bush era liberty-restrictions in the name of counter terrorism. And he had a beer summit to settle a dispute between his boy and a racist Boston cop.
Suddenly, I was the recipient of personal attacks. Everything from Black Rush Limbaugh to a fucking idiot - well, let me say this to everyone who had something to say to me during that debate - "FUCK You".
This is the most ridiculous shit in the world. You niggas have been on Obama's dick for 3 years now and half of you don't even know what his job entails. He is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. He chooses what happens next. Not the Republicans. Not the Tea Party. Not those dumb ass Democrats who should bow down to him and thank him for helping them retain or gain office in Fall 2008 by boosting turnout. HE DOES. Do you know what George W Bush got done when he got into office? Everything he wanted. He wanted to put out a huge tax cut for the rich... HE GOT IT.
All you new-to-following-politics chumps need to stay in your lane when Dr. Hak is talking, because right now y'all on that Fox News shit and you can all eat a dick. Yep, I'm still angry about it.
The problem I have with the whole situation is two-fold.
1) Don't talk to me like I am an Obama-hater because I just so happen to criticize him. That's my right. To support someone but also never criticize or critique their performance(s) is called being a "yes-man" and serves no purpose. That's the Fox News style and that's some bullshit. Remember when everyone who opposed the war in Iraq hated America and hated freedom? Yeeeeeaaaaah y'all on that but in reverse.
All or nothing.
With us or with them.
Etc, etc, etc.
The same thing happened early on in Barack's candidacy. He wasn't talking about shit. Sure enough, here come black people to shout me down about it. The dude admitted it himself. Oprah had to get him some spark. And then he "found his voice" and the rest is history. But even the other Democrats at some of the initial primary debates came up to him like "what the fuck is wrong with you? Get it together." These things happened. But let me say it, and I'm a bitch.... No - you're a bitch. Get off that bullshit.
Problem #2) If Barack Obama wasn't black NONE OF YOU NEGROES WOULD CARE ONE-TENTH as much as you do right now about ANYTHING he does... with the possible exception of his economic policies and the War if you know someone who gets deployed - for those you'd care about half as much.
Everything else - you just soooooo happy to have a black man in office that you wet yourself thinking about it.
And when I point this out - what happens? More of that "fuck Dr Hak" shit. Because I tell you the truth and you don't like it. Guess what. I'm gonna talk my shit. You are going to have to live with it. If you don't like it - stay the fuck away from my blog, my airspace and everything else. Real Talk - I'm not here to entertain your dumbasses, I'm here to speak the truth.
I think he deserves a B or a B- for his first year and change in office. But not an A++++++++++++++ like all of you people who look foolish typing "I'm so proud of my president" in your facebook statuses everytime he's a press conference, and you have no idea what he just said. *spit* That disgusts me.
Keep this up, and I swear to guard I'm going to start putting up "F* Barack Obama" videos on YouTube to prove a point. Some of you might enjoy that...sick freaks. The rest of you should be very very afraid.
IF you want to talk politics, educate yourself and find out what's really going on. Supporting someone JUST because they are Black is the type of shit that holds us back as a people. That shit is crazy...
and you know what?
Barack is tight enough to get your support without that. But most of you will never understand that because I'm Dr Hak and I'm some some 3002 shit. It'll be 992 years before you understand anything I say. Whatthefuckever.
Peace Out.
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