God's Got It - Part 1

I don't often espouse religious viewpoints when I have discussions with friends. I enjoy going to church, but I definitely don't post all types of Facebook status messages about how good the Lord is to me and how I expect to receive this that and the third blessings or whatever.

I can't say I like to see other people do it too, because I find it corny. At the same time, I don't really have a problem with people expressing their religious appreciation for God in a public forum, I just don't like people who do it every single day. I don't expect to be able (and shouldn't have) to articulate why in this little space.

Anyway, there is one area of our lives, that I don't think we put God into enough. And that my friends is DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS.

For all the advice columns, tv shows, nightline specials, books (including one I have a full outline ready to go for), and seminars - I never hear one particular thing unless the book/column/show itself has a religious theme or subtopic to it. And that particular thing, is the one quote that renders all of this talk obsolete:

"God's Got It"

We the people, especially Black people, in America have become completely engrossed in an endless man-vs-woman-vs-society debate about who is or is not pulling their weight in relationships and how that leads to nobody getting married.

Well... these are the same Black people who go to church at least once a month if not twice a week, grew up in the church, and definitely believe in God. But somehow, when it comes to relationships, we have decided not to trust God but to trust... what? Our own failed experiences with the other gender? What someone who isn't happily married themselves has to say?

If anyone really has learned how to be successful in a relationship, that person is currently married (perhaps widowed), or steadily engaged at the least. No one REALLY has the Rosetta Stone on how to get married. Sure, there are some good places to go for advice out there (my brother from another Dedan Tolbert is one - pick up his new book, ladies) and in some way, perhaps this type of advice and information is a manifestation of God's will on some level - but at the end of the day, where is the FAITH?

Where is the trust in God? The obedience to what he asks us to do on a daily basis for Him?

How can you be upset that you are not married if you really trust God? Wouldn't that mean he hasn't chosen you for that yet for a REASON? That's the only acceptable answer. You have other things to do in your life before you are ready to be married and/or before He wants you to be married. What things? I'll talk about some possibilities in another entry (Try going to therapy, working out, and introspection to start) some other time.

I'm just really disappointed in the whole line of thinking. Saddened might be the better word. I would love to see more Black people getting married, and at a younger age too, because that would inherently mean a strengthening of the Black community as a whole, but it's not something we can do on our own.

You know where to go to for help.