If He's Spending Dough, You Already Know

Sooooo, Dr Hak hasn't had anything to say in a while, but alas, I AM BACK today with some new discussion-starting for you good people.


I don't really know how I can say this any other way, so I'm going to just say it.

Ladies, you've gotta stop fucking around with these dudes and their money.

Do you really think some man is going to spend copious amounts of $$$ on you, out of the goodness of his heart, or because he's some mythical creature called a "gentleman", or... just because he likes you?

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

He's trying to have sex. Period. Just like any other kind act from a man, you should probably expect that he wants to have sex with you. The difference with actual SPENDING OF MONEY is, he's got reason to expect that you are down if you start asking for AND/OR accepting certain things that cost money.

Let's just use examples to illustrate my point...

SITUATION #1 - Anytime a man pays for a hotel room and you sleep in it - he's expecting you to give up some action.
EXCEPTIONS - the two of you are friends and its not like that...
(Hmmm... you know I hesitate to type that because its pretty much ALWAYS like that, and the woman friend is pretty much ALWAYS in denial that its like that. So let me rephrase...)
ACTUAL EXCEPTION - the two of you are related.
POSSIBLE EXCEPTION - he has a girlfriend that's not you. Notice I said "possible"

SITUATION #2 - You meet a guy. Guy seems nice. You don't live where guy lives. You want to go visit guy. You buy your own plane ticket to see guy.
Verdict - safe. He might hope you put out, but you paid your own way to get there, so he can't act like he's done something grand.

SITUATION 2B - You meet a guy who seems nice. You become friends. Guy lives in another city. He offers to fly you into town and take care of all the expenses for the weekend. That means he doesn't plan on trying you, right?
VERDICT - Wrong...WRONG! Come on, be serious here.


What exactly do you think these dudes are spending their dough to try to accomplish? Do you think this man wants to be your boyfriend? OK, well guess what boyfriends get access to. Do you think he just wants to make you happy? Well, guess why he might want to do that... It's always going to be the same situation. There is no man on this planet who is going to spend money on travel expenses, continuous lavish dinners, or anything else over some arbitrary dollar amount like $50, and not expect some action.

AND... you already know this. So pretending like a situation isn't what it is is disingenuous. I guess you need to be in denial to pull off the appropriate acting job when the lights go out in the hotel suite with ONE BED that the man paid for to take you on vacation because he knows you're stressed and just wanted you to get away. Guess what - if he wanted you to be relaxed and get away from it all, he'd just send you on a trip by yourself... AND THEN HE'D BE WAITING FOR YOU TO GET BACK... It doesn't change.

There are rules to the game, and $ is a major issue. You're not an exception. All because a man has spent money on you and didn't actually TRY you, doesn't mean he was cool with you not showing some love back. How many times has a man gone out of his way to pay for something for you, didn't get any or try to get any, and kept doing these things for you?...oh, and didn't stalk you afterwards. Be serious.

If you want a man to not have any quarrel or expectations, pay for shit yourself. Especially plane tickets, concert tickets...anything called a "ticket", and pay him back if you end up needing to borrow money. You're more than welcome to and it's not an insult to his manhood, despite whatever protests he makes. If anything, it shows you're not a user. Because user chicks get dealt with. Sometimes the results are horribly tragic, sometimes hilarious lessons are learned (like the girl who kept going on expensive dates within a circle of male friends who figured it out, and got "stood up" at the airport with all her stuff packed for a trip to Jamaica that didn't exist. Or the girl who got her pictures put on the internet. You don't want to be that girl).

The easiest way to avoid trouble is to be an adult and think about things before you ask for or accept them. If you don't want to be intimate with a man, don't put yourself in intimate situations, and definitely not intimate situations he paid for. If you want to take things slow, then don't let him buy you plane tickets to Miami yet. Just go to the movies... and buy your own popcorn.